a few things...

1) my grandmother is here. even though this is the first big family event she is missing, she is here. in the faces of her daughters (and in their interactions with one another, this is a hee, hee moment), in my heart, and in the spirit of the hummingbirds that are everywhere in this gorgeous corner of the world.

2) even though my grandmother did this kind of wacky, sometimes horrible thing of encouraging this odd competition between my and my cousin who is about two months younger than me, we get along great. i adore him. and i can't wait to spend time catching up with him and with his wife this evening. i kind of stick my tongue out at my grandma right now about this one. she had this thing with creating competition when there didn't need to be any. and we outgrew that. thank goodness.

3) seeing my aunt and uncle interact with one another makes my heart happy.

4) my husband is a kind soul and my best friend. this makes me the luckiest person i know.

5) i might want to be a mom. but only if i can have a daughter as cute and smart and funny as my cousin's daughter. (no need to tell me it doesn't work that way...i am just sayin')

6) i wish my brother was here. he is playing a show in portland so he couldn't be here but i miss him. he and my cousin (the one who is getting married) were born on the same day of the same year. how cool is that? my mother and her sister both had a baby on the same day. i know he hates that he isn't here this weekend.

7) the cliff dwellings at mesa verde remind me that a lot of what i spend my time being wrapped up in is pretty insignificant in the scheme of things. i want to come back here (kind of want to come back alone) and spend time in these ruins. when my back is better and i can walk like regular old me again.

8) i am switzerland in a family that thinks they are switzerland too. but i think i might be the only one actually able to hoist that flag with certainty. family is great though. you can learn so much from spending time with the people that make up the tribe from which you came.

9) i love wearing my hair in these two pigtail bun things and i can't wait until it is long enough to wear it in two braids again.

10) the book eat, pray, love might change your life. so read it already won't you? (i am going to write and write and write some more. this book has yelled at me and also whispered to remind me that this is my calling.)

11) I miss my grandmother like crazy. i am just tired enough after getting three hours of sleep wednesday night and a few more than that last night that i kind of want to curl up in a ball and cry. but i won't. i will keep my eyes open for the hummingbirds. have you ever heard them talk? they make this fantastic chirping sound, letting you know that they have some feelings about you being in their air space. yes, i think my grandmother flies with them now.

12) i saw wild horses today. enough said really.

13) i know i missed poetry thursday for the first time since the thursday in february when it all began. just trust me that today in the ruins i was part of the poetry of the earth. that is enough for this week i think.

14) wait until i tell you about how i am doing the mirror meditation while i am here. stay tuned...