i want to tell you...

windowsill . frog creek lodge, fall 2010 be present retreat

in the time i am spending in my studio creating necklaces this month, i have been brainstorming about the many things i want to tell you here.

(there is so much i want to tell you.)

i want to tell you about the beauty that can be found when you slow down, close the laptop, and look at your life.

i want to tell you about how my heart often aches because my body and soul have been through so much in the last 16 months. (so much has happened.) i want to tell you the pieces of this truth and about how i am trying to stand still in the healing waters.

i want to tell you about how i have begun to let go of a belief that life is about finding balance between work and family and seems to be more about finding you and what makes your heart rest inside truth when you stand eye to eye with yourself.

i want to tell you about rocking ellie to sleep at night while i chant a song from my teacher and how this has become an act of self-nurturing.

i want to tell you about how hard it is to take in kind words even when you know they are real.

i want to tell you (i want to tell me) about how it feels not to receive what you are asking for and how this sadness still becomes part of the healing.

i want to tell you about how powerful the mirror meditation continues to be as part of my personal practice. there are moments when i feel as though i might be fading away, but the act of taking a deep breath and looking in the mirror always pushes me to be seen.

i want to tell you about these fantastic boots i have been wearing and how they make me feel like i could truly kick some serious ass.

i want to tell you about how all that has happened in the last year has taught me that the best thing you can do when someone is experiencing some major stuff is to listen and then say a variation on, "is there anything i can do?" and mean it.

i want to tell you about what you might want to think about doing if your friends find themselves in the ICU with a loved one.

i want to tell you about how things are not always what they seem (and how i think we should throw open the windows to let assumptions of the destructive kind float on out of our lives).

i want to tell you about all that is inspiring me these days.

i want to tell you about how much i want to start heading to seattle on sundays for my teacher's yoga class, but thinking about hearing her nurturing voice makes me fear that i might cry the entire time.

yes, there is so much i want to tell you...maybe i will begin with this list.

until then, perhaps you could tell me something about you...what do you most need to tell someone?