here

Here we're cuddling on the couch watching holiday movies and hoping her cold doesn't get worse.

Here I'm getting into the picture even when I don't have on make-up and my dirty hair is every which way and I look as weary as I feel.

Here I'm listening to Anne Lamott read Help Thanks Wow and feeling gratitude.

Here I'm wondering if my uncle feels peace a year after his death.

Here we're crafting and art journaling and making Christmas gifts and listening to Taylor Swift on repeat.

Here patience is waning and I'm trying to remember the ways I used to be able to find the day's last thread of it all the way down in my toes.

Here I'm excited about twinkle lights and Christmas music.

Here I'm hoping a Trader Joe's turkey breast will be enough this week. 

Here I'm excited about this new necklace.

Here I'm looking forward to hearing my brother's laughter at my table this Thursday.

Here we're practicing kinder words and softer voices.

Here I almost ugly cried out loud sobbed during Hook tonight. (First time I watched it since he died, maybe even since Ellie was born. It is a favorite favorite favorite.)

Here I'm wearing this sweater almost every day.

Here there will be scones tomorrow.

Here I'm so in love with this post from Hula.  

Here I'm wondering about what my word of the year might be. Nothing has come to the surface yet. My ears and heart are open universe.

Here I'm really thankful for my dad's sobriety.

Here I'm considering rereading the Chronicles of Narnia.

Here I'm thinking about how just showing up as me is the path to joy.

Here I'm trying on setting down the desire to know all that is coming next when it comes to a few things over here and trusting that the next step will appear soon. Or at the very least, I'm believing that just sitting still will be okay for a little while.