what's next

Over here, I'm in that space of figuring out how I want this year to unfold, especially for my business. Deciding "what's next." Getting things down on paper, onto the calendar, so I can get them out into the world to you.

And here's the truth: I wish it was easier. Part of me just wishes someone would come along and tell me what to do.

I'd love to know exactly when to hold my retreats and how to fill them and where they should be.

I'd love to know if I should turn One Move into an ecourse or an online group coaching program or a book.

I'd love to know if my one really good idea I've been holding onto for almost two years is one I should really, finally do.

I'd love to know if my idea to hold very small retreats here in Tacoma is one people would respond to.

I'd love to know if I should look for a studio outside my house, if I should live into reality that dream of a space where women could gather.

I'd love to know if I should expand the Soul Mantras products I offer or pare them down.

There is so much I'd love to know...

But I can't know. I can't predict. I can't see the future. And spinning in all that wishing never helps.

What I can do: I can listen to the wisdom within me and listen to my gut and make a choice and go with it.

There's that saying about a dream being a goal without a deadline. And there's also that truth about how brainstorming and dreaming can be a lot more fun than actually getting to work on a project - brainstorming is a place where I can get stuck because it is so juicy and interesting and fun. Combine that with almost everything I put into the world being some form of me holding my heart in my hand and saying, "Would you like a piece of this?" and I can start to slip into what my mom calls analysis paralysis. 

And then all I want to do is read romance novels and watch shows on Netflix because doesn't Nora Roberts have a new book out and shouldn't I probably rewatch all seven seasons of The West Wing so I can pretend I'll be voting for Jed Bartlett later this year...

But here's what I'm making the choice to do instead:

First, I'm writing these words to you, mostly so I feel less alone in it and to hold myself accountable too I suppose.

Second, I'm putting big pieces of white paper up on the wall and taking out my idea notebook writing down a few lists like: All the ideas. What my heart most wants to share. What people write me about the most - or seem to respond to the most. The boundaries and self-care parameters that my family and I need. 

And I'm asking myself some questions: What ideas have the most "heat" for me? How could this year feel gentle? How can there be more time for living the life I write about? 

(The photo above is the last time I did this when I dove deep into my business about 8 months ago.)

Third, I'm sitting in meditation. I'm listening. I'm trying to stop that inner chatter to create space for peace, even for just five minutes at a time.

Fourth, I'm calling on my guides. From dear friends I trust to a circle that's been forming inside (and around me) during meditation to writing letters in my journal to Mister Rogers (yes, that one). I'm calling on my guides, and I'm listening. 

Fifth, I'm making a commitment to get outside this week. To get out of my head and back into my heart by spending time with the birds and the water and the starting to peek up crocuses. 

Going back in to figure out where to go - this is how I find my way. This is how I figure out what's next. 

There's so much I want to say about all of it - about the way 2014 unfolded into 2015 and how last year was in many ways about rebuilding combined with big growth but how I somewhat feel like I'm still staring at a set of Lincoln logs wondering what to make. 

I suppose there are seasons for knowing and there are seasons for building and there are seasons for really getting quiet to find your way. And perhaps I'm in a season where those all happen at once in their different ways. So my task is to keep going in so I can move from a place of centered knowing even when I don't really know. 

Deep breath.

And the juicy part is that once I get through this part (which is so often easier than it seems like it will be - it already feels easier after getting all of this down on the page - you just have to start), then I get to dive into using my own "One Move" steps to make it all happen. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Thanks for coming along beside me. I'm so grateful you're here.