blessed.

you have cocooned us with your words, silence, love, notes, burning candles, prayers, hand holding.

you have pushed me to know: i am heard. i am seen. (dare i own it?) i am loved.

you have held the space in this time when i most need it.

thank you. thank you.

(i am so blessed.)

another doctor's appointment early tomorrow morning. another holding of the breath while we see if the little one has gained weight. another prayer being said in the form of a mama stroking the cheek of her daughter. another day where our little elliebean will continue to sit herself inside our hearts with her every breath.

yes

we just live it. each day. we live it.

thank you for being beside us, holding us gently.

blessings and light,
liz

patience.

point defiance park . august 2009 (photo by jon)

On June 3, we began our journey toward a new normal with a new member of our family, and just as we were finding our footing, another path appeared to add an entirely new layer to this "normal."

And here we are.

Patience is our new mantra.

Yes.

On Monday, when we met with Ellie's cardiologist, Dr. S, the above quote from the Buddha floated through my mind. For the first two years of this blog, this quote appeared in my banner. Dr. S is very "be present, be here" as she pushes us to stay in this moment instead of moving our minds ahead toward the "what ifs." We have a pact; when she looks me in the eye and says "and now I am concerned," I can then start to really worry. Until then, we are waiting and breathing. Even though on paper, things are...well...somewhat scary, all of us are waiting and breathing. Ellie's medication is working, which means her heart isn't working quite so hard (which is good). We will be visiting Dr. S every couple of days for a bit to make sure Ellie's heart finds its way to the rhythm we want. (There is of course a story that tells the details of what we are experiencing, but just like my experience with my pregnancy and Ellie's birth, I am just not quite ready to go into all those details yet. Time...time...)

So here is the scoop I want to share: As we find our way in this new normal, I am finding that when I let my mama brain rest sometimes and allow my creative brain to take over, I feel more myself and can be a lot more present. So even though I will still share updates of how Ellie is doing and we will be spending time in doctors' offices and all that fun stuff, I am going to keep the creative juices flowing in this space as it feels right.

So stay tuned for:
More about my experience writing Inner Excavation (and a peek at the cover!)
A sneak peek of the amazing contributors who are in my book
A new necklace series in the shop
A new design to the shop
A few new collaborations
More about upcoming Be Present Retreats
...and a few other things

Thank you again for all of your kind words, prayers, emails, phone calls...we continue to feel so surrounded in love and hope. Even though we know we have no control over what is to come, each day, Jon and I look into Ellie Jane's eyes and believe that all will be okay. Thank you for believing along side us.

Blessings and light,

Liz

whispered reminders (to myself)

 

remember, you do not have to know everything in each moment.

you can be still.

you do not have to run ahead.

you can breathe deeply and just stay right where you are.

you choose where to let your mind reside.

you can ask for help.

you can close your eyes until you see only quiet.

it is okay to pause. 

you know what to do.

yes.

you do.

give yourself permission to listen.

give yourself permission to know.

holding compassion and love {a guided audio meditation}

 

On a day like today, when many of us wish we could do more for the people suffering the devastation in Haiti from yesterday's earthquake, I would like a share a meditation with you that can be used to hold people in your heart with compassion and love.

There are some good resources out there that share information about organizations accepting donations and other things. This article at USA Today seems particularly clear and helpful. Denise has also shared some great links in this post. Please share any other links or information you have that you trust.

The following meditation is one that I turn to when I learn someone is experiencing difficult times or grief and I cannot be right there to offer support in person. I light a candle and imagine them and close my eyes and begin to find my breath. This meditation can also be used when you want to send compassion and love to someone on any day. The truth is, we all need compassion and love and sharing it is a beautiful gift we can give one another. 

When you are ready to begin, find a comfortable place to sit where you will not be distracted or interupted. Then click on "Holding Compassion" below. The meditation takes less than ten minutes. If you have questions, please feel free to email me.

Blessings and light,

Liz

Holding Compassion

the space around your heart {a guided meditation}

 

a capture on a walk with jonny . december 29, 2009

As 2010 begins, the plans and hopes I have for the new year twirl inside my head. Some of these swirling thoughts involve this space of mine and how I want to nurture and tend to it. A few years ago, I shared some audio posts in the form of meditations and my poetry, but the site that was hosting these audio files shut down not long after I started. I am going to revisit audio posts now that I have figured out how to add them to my website (how I heart squarespace).

As we look to all that a new year can bring, I invite you to listen and participate in the following guided meditation. As you click on the words "space around your heart" below, find a comfortable way to sit, close your eyes, and listen.

Blessings and light to you and your loved ones,

Liz

space around your heart

november 16

so much i want to write today. i want to write about seven years of being married to the best person i know. i want to participate in christina's simple things. i want to share a few very very good things happening in our world. i want to reach inside to share pieces of the truth that is my life, my path.

but i am tired and i am needing to rest and curl up on the couch with jonny and just be a bit while drinking tea and eating a cookie or two and watching a movie.

so, instead of writing all the things i want to write, i want to instead say this:

how are you?

really,

how. are. you?

be here. (two)

(you must) remember

take a breath

then another

then another

remember

in this moment

you

are

enough