4 mantras helping me over here in my corner

I'm thinking about you over in your corner in the world. Things are hard right now. Knowing what to do next is hard. And I thought it might be helpful to share four mantras I'm finding supportive as I move through my days at home here in the Pacific Northwest.

Courage, dear heart is a phrase CS Lewis wrote in his Chronicles of Narnia books. It helps me feel less alone. Always. It feels like a whispered prayer that so many before me have said. It is a hope I have for you, for me, for all of us. I hope it helps you remember that from parenting to partnering to feeling lonely to worry to grief to wishing things were different, you aren't alone. 

Just do the next right thing has helped me for several years. And I love that Anna from Frozen has made it an even more mainstream mantra to use. I have it on my list of talismans to create in the studio because I want to keep it close. We're also talking about it in my new Water Your Soul ecourse* and using it as a guide for our days. When I feel the overwhelm hit, I'm whispering these words to myself.

Mother Teresa reminds us to "Do small things with great love." And right now is our opportunity to connect in very small yet impactful ways with our fellow humans. From texting someone a check-in to sending a card in the mail to getting groceries for your elderly neighbor, we can show up with love and hope in our daily lives one tiny action at a time.

As we experience this truly unbelievable world we're living in these days, the phrase Side by Side help me to remember that we aren't alone. Every moment, someone is helping someone else. Someone is listening, giving a glass of water, opening their arms, teaching, sitting beside someone in joy and grief and hope and uncertainty. Even if we're doing all of this virtually. We are here for each other. 

What words are helping you over there? I'd love to know. Please leave a comment and share.

I'm over here spending a lot of time with my daughter EJ and the other members of our little family, Jon and our dog Lyle. We're finding our way through a month filled with personal grief after two deaths in our family. And we're playing Bananagrams, watching The Good Place, taking space from each other when we need it, learning a whole lot about decimals, and baking.

I am still getting into my studio and making Soul Mantras, and I'd love to send something you're way. I am happy to create custom items for you right now, so if you don’t see something in the shop that captures the mantra or intention you need (or want to send to someone), just get in touch.

Every order is getting some extra love tucked in through words of encouragement and other little things. If you want to send a gift to someone, I'll include a note from you and add in extra love. I'll also be washing my hands a lot as I package things up. 

All the orders help us stay afloat over here in these uncertain times, and I'm so grateful. 

Side by side,
Liz

*I've kept Water Your Soul registration open for at least another week. The pay what you can option is still available. And this isn't the kind of course where you get behind. You just move through it at your pace, using the ideas, prompts, and stories in the ways that support you.

a whispered wish for you (for me)

May you seek the quiet and notice.

May you listen to the brave truth within.

May you remember that each moment is a slice and not all of who you are or what will be.

May you feel each of us surround you with love as you find your way.

(Yes. Yes. Yes.)

five ways to use a mantra

A mantra is a phrase that can help you invite in mindfulness to your daily life. Mantras were traditionally used during meditation and are still used this way in many spiritual traditions. 

I think of a mantra as an intention. This intention might come from a deep wish you have inside, or it might be a shift you’re hoping for in your life (or even for the world). Your mantra could be more like a prayer or guidance that you’re holding close. You might work with just one mantra for a long time, focusing on it during meditation or moments of quiet. Or there might be a handful of words or phrases you turn to depending on what you need in a certain moment.

I started making my Soul Mantras jewelry because I wanted to wear the phrases that were guiding me to keep them close each day. I found that when I wore “I am enough” and “find your center” and “open up and live” on my body, I was reminded to believe these truths. And I felt less alone as the words themselves became companions in the beautiful and tough moments. 

In our current culture, mantras are used in several ways to invite in mindfulness to our daily lives. Here are five ways to help you get started:

Meditation

You can repeat your mantra silently to yourself as you breathe and let this repetition be a space for your mind to rest while you meditate. The mantra assists you in entering the silence meditation is helping you find by giving your mind something to focus on. 

A mala can be helpful when using a mantra in meditation because it gives you a set number of times to repeat the mantra. A mala, similar to a rosary, is helpful when used in meditation. You slide the beads between your fingers so you can focus on the words of your mantra instead of counting the number of times you’re saying the mantra. Most malas include a “guru” bead that is larger than the other beads so you know where to begin and end your meditation. We don't currently have malas in stock, but you an find some lovely handmade malas on Etsy.

As a touchstone

You can use your mantra as a touchstone during your day. When I want to pause for a moment or two and reboot myself a bit using a mantra, I inhale and think the words, and then exhale and imagine all that I need from the mantra surrounds me. Then I breathe all that in and say it again to myself. Doing this a few times creates some space between whatever is happening in my life and where I want to be. 

As a visual reminder

For me to use a mantra as a touchstone though, I usually have to see it or I won’t remember. So to keep this practice close, I have a handful of mantras and other reminders I need throughout my home. From artwork that includes affirmations (like my friend Lori Portka's work) to a postcard on the fridge to sticky notes on the mirror in the bathroom to a talisman I keep in my pocket, I love to be surrounded by these reminders that help me refocus throughout the day. I’ve been known to even write mantras on the bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. This is a big reason why I created the Soul Mantras inspiration decks.

As a journaling prompt

Using a mantra as a journaling prompt can help you peel back the layers of how you’re feeling about something. Let yourself freewrite with the mantra as a jumping off point. Freewriting means just putting your pen to paper and writing for several minutes without stopping.

For example, if you’re feeling drawn to a particular phrase, like, “I am enough,” you could use that phrase as a journaling prompt. It could be a question – “What if I believed that I am enough?” – that you then answer through journaling. Or it could be more of a statement like “I know I am enough because…” 

And of course, you can wear your mantra

From writing a word or phrase you need to hold close onto your wrist with a sharpie to wearing a necklace or bracelet with your mantra to getting a tattoo, wearing your mantra is always an option. It keeps it close to you, sometimes feeling like a whispered prayer you carry with you daily. Customize jewelry with your mantra right here.

Photo credit: Top photo by Lauren Oliver Photography, mala photo by Bonnie Albers

Self-Care Move: Try a Candle Meditation

Lighting a candle with intention is something that is done in many religions. Candles are often used to represent a higher power or the four elements. Lighting a candle can be used to begin meditation; then the candle is extinguished when the meditation draws to a close.

The act of extinguishing the candle should be part of the ritual. My teacher once gently told me this has two reasons: The first being that it signifies the end to the practice and the second to remember to extinguish the candle as to avoid burning down the house. 

Bringing a candle into your meditation practice invites in ritual, but it can also provide something for you to focus your attention on. Here's one way to practice what I simply call a candle meditation:

With this meditation, you want a clear space where you can place your candle. It should be free from clutter and distractions. You don't want to worry about anything catching on fire or a pet or child knocking over the candle.

This meditation is best done seated. It's a good idea to have the candle pretty close to eye level so that you don’t find yourself bending forward to look at it. Also, let it be at least a foot away from you so that it isn’t too bright. 

When you’re ready, light your candle, and as you do, create an intention for yourself for this moment. It might be something like, "I connect to the light within and around me." or "Let these breaths center and support me." or "Just be right here. Noticing. Letting the day go for these moments." You could also use just one or two words as your intention, like breathe, notice, be here.

After you light the candle, bring your gaze to it. Watch it as you breathe. Inhaling, being right here. Exhaling, watching the candle. You might want to imagine that you’re inhaling the light inside you and then exhaling it over you.  

Do this for 3-5 minutes the first time you try it. Letting your gaze just soften on the candle as you breathe. 

If looking at the candle is too bright, let yourself just look over it or below it. Your gaze should be soft. You can also do this with your eyes closed, imagining the candle in your mind or just keeping an awareness that it is near you.

Explore other meditations here.

Candle pictured above is from one of my favorite candle companies, P. F. Candle Co, which you can find at one of my favorite shops: Moorea Seal.

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Bottom photo by Lauren Oliver Photography

rooted {a meditation}

A meditation for you to try today:

Some mornings I wake up with a feeling of being disconnected from what's happening around me. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm feeling grief tap me on the shoulder. Maybe I'm letting the "I am not enough" gremlins tap at me. On those days, I sometimes turn to a meditation I like to call "rooted" to invite me to remember that I do know how to feel grounded in my life and to help me remember to call on the earth for support. Here's how I practice this meditation. This can be a beautiful practice done outside but most days I just do it right inside in my studio or living room.

I stand barefoot and bring my awareness to my breath.

As my breath begins to lengthen, I start to imagine I'm exhaling down through my body, all the way through the soles of my feet. I literally imagine I can feel my breath exhale down through my chest, belly, pelvis and hips, legs, and feet.

After a few breaths like this, I begin to imagine roots are growing from my legs and anchoring me to the earth.

When I feel that grounding, I bring awareness to my next inhale and imagine drawing up energy from the earth through my roots and into my body. 

I keep breathing, noticing, letting my body, heart, breath deeply connect to the earth continuing to use that image of drawing up energy through my roots and into my body.

Staying here for as long as feels right in that moment.

When I feel complete, I pause, bring my palms together at my heart, and say "thank you" to the earth for holding and supporting me.

Meditation note: Sometimes when you try standing meditations with your eyes closed, you can get a bit dizzy. I avoid this by swaying just a bit and being sure not to lock my knees.

the breath

One breath.

Right here.

Close your eyes.

Let your shoulders drop away from your ears.

The muscles of your face relax.

Then just notice your body.

Inhale.

Feel your chest expand, open.

Exhale.

Your body settles back into itself.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Notice.

*****

Here's what I know: Adding in moments where you breathe deeply, where you notice your body, where you let your mind just. stop. spinning. for a few seconds, these are the moments that help you come home to you. These are the moments that support you in making the decisions you need to make as you build that bridge between daily life and where you want to go.

Let your breath support you.

Let your wisdom out to play honey.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

PS For more little reminders and love notes like this one, sign up for my (almost) weekly newsletter (where I also share stories of my real, true adventures in self-care and how I'm building my own bridges in my life).

the five deep breaths practice

I often mention the practice of taking five deep breaths as one I turn to daily. A few people have asked me more about this practice and why I recommend it so much, so here's some more information all in one place to help you get started using this simple but deeply effective self-care practice that can truly help you throughout your day.

Why five deep breaths? Pausing to breathe deeply for a few moments becomes a way to remind my body that it does know peace and stillness. Those first three deep breaths create enough space for my body to relax. With the fourth, my mind realizes it can rest for a moment. And by the fifth, I am recentered and back into my body and heart. Sometimes, by that fifth breath, I can even though just enough peace to trust what I know inside my heart in that moment.  

This is the practice that saves me again and again. Noticing. Breathing. Letting go of the day. I use it as a grounding practice throughout the day; I also use it as first aid when I'm going through a difficult time or just having an upside down, challenging day (or moment). 

How to use this practice: 

Close your eyes. Bring your hand to your heart. 

With the first breath, relax your shoulders.

With the second, notice how your breath moves in your body.

With the third, try to let go of anything pulling on you.

With the fourth, feel the space you create inside you.

With the fifth breath, let your mind rest in this space. 

As you continue working with this practice, give yourself reminders to pause and take these five deep breaths throughout your day. You could set a timer on your phone or put up a few sticky notes. I have "five deep breath" collection in my shop with jewelry, a pocket talisman, and even stickers to remind you of this practice. Think about what kind of reminders you need to begin to integrate this practice into your daily life.

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five small acts of mindfulness

I came across this quote, and I honestly can't stop thinking about it.

Salzberg speaks so deeply to what I've learned, especially in the last year: In order for me to stick with a practice, it has to be manageable for me. I have to be able to actually do it. So I'm going to start sharing more ideas for manageable mindifulness and self-care practices here in this space in the hopes that they'll give you some ideas for the kind of daily practice you can create over in your corner. I believe that through these practices, be keep building that bridge between our daily lives and the lives we deeply imagine for ourselves.

Here are five ideas to help you bring in small but deep moments of mindfulness into your daily life.

1. Stretch and move your body.

Moving your body with awareness can quiet your mind chatter and invite you back into presence. Here's one quick way to do this: 

Stand up with enough space around you that you can sweep your arms out to the side. With your feet about hip distance apart, try to feel your feet beneath you. Bring your hands to your heart or cross your arms at your chest. With your next inhale, open your arms wide feeling the stretch all the way to your fingertips. As you exhale, bring your arms back to center, crossing them over your heart. Repeat 5-10 more times. As you stretch, continue to focus on feeling your feet beneath you while also stretching your upper body.  

When you're done, make any other movements your body needs right now. Just notice. You'll know what to do.

2. Get outside and take five deep breaths.

There's a reason why I often give people the homework of getting outside: It gets you out of your head and back into your body and mind. This happens because you're so often surrounded by so much that is simply present. From the birds singing their song every single day to the trees following the rhythms of mother nature, there's evidence of the way the world outside this screen and even your daily life finds ways to be present.

Get outside for even just three minutes today and pause, taking five deep breaths as you simply notice whatever is around you.

3. Make a list of observations.

Writing a list can invite you away from the distractions and swirling thoughts and get you back into your heart a bit more. It can also connect you to the present moment. Here's what I mean: Write a list of observations about this moment. Move away from feelings and things that need to get done and instead, imagine you are stepping outside of yourself and just notice what you see. I sometimes start lists like these with the word "here."

For example: Here blue sky shines thought the window. Here a dog snores. Here a woman pushes herself through writer's block. Here a kettle of water begins to boil. Here a favorite soft t-shirt. Here artwork dances on the walls...

Sometimes this practice becomes a bit like writing a poem. It's a great idea to try daily; you could even keep an ongoing list of observations in your planner.

4. Practice a simple breathing meditation.

Here's one of my favorite beginning meditations (that I use often). I call it the "Counting Your Breaths" meditation.

Find a comfortable way to sit. You can use a pillow or a meditation cushion or even a rolled up blanket to sit on. (Note though that you can really do this anywhere - in your car, in the shower, during a break at work, at your desk, and so on.)

Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your breathing. Notice how your breath moves in your body. After a few moments, begin to count your breaths. One way I like to do this is to literally say internally, “Inhale one. Exhale one. Inhale two. Exhale two.” as I breathe. Count up to 10. If you'd like to practice longer, or after you've tried a few sessions of going up to 10, you can start over and go through this cycle of 10 a few times. When you’re done, notice your mind, body, and heart.

5. Notice your senses.

This is a practice you can truly do anywhere at any time. Pause right where you are and notice all five of your senses. Breathe deeply, and pay attention to what you hear, smell, taste, see, and touch. Depending on where you are, try to close your eyes so you can get even deeper in touch with your other senses. I also like to add in a sixth sense of knowing. I do this by taking a deep breath and literally saying to myself, "What do I know in this moment."

Check out my senses series for a peek into how I use this as a meditative photography and writing practice as well.

To think about: As you consider developing your own mindfulness practice, think about what is really doable for you. What can you create space for in your life? What do you have time for? And pair these questions with thinking about what you really need.

An invitation: If you want to circle with women to talk about self-care and mindfulness practices and how you can really make them a part of your daily life, come along on my fall Be Present Retreat. It's called Water Your Soul and it takes place this November in Manzanita, Oregon. Learn all about it here. 

(photo of me by Vanessa Simpson of Focus in Photograpy)