4 mantras helping me over here in my corner

I'm thinking about you over in your corner in the world. Things are hard right now. Knowing what to do next is hard. And I thought it might be helpful to share four mantras I'm finding supportive as I move through my days at home here in the Pacific Northwest.

Courage, dear heart is a phrase CS Lewis wrote in his Chronicles of Narnia books. It helps me feel less alone. Always. It feels like a whispered prayer that so many before me have said. It is a hope I have for you, for me, for all of us. I hope it helps you remember that from parenting to partnering to feeling lonely to worry to grief to wishing things were different, you aren't alone. 

Just do the next right thing has helped me for several years. And I love that Anna from Frozen has made it an even more mainstream mantra to use. I have it on my list of talismans to create in the studio because I want to keep it close. We're also talking about it in my new Water Your Soul ecourse* and using it as a guide for our days. When I feel the overwhelm hit, I'm whispering these words to myself.

Mother Teresa reminds us to "Do small things with great love." And right now is our opportunity to connect in very small yet impactful ways with our fellow humans. From texting someone a check-in to sending a card in the mail to getting groceries for your elderly neighbor, we can show up with love and hope in our daily lives one tiny action at a time.

As we experience this truly unbelievable world we're living in these days, the phrase Side by Side help me to remember that we aren't alone. Every moment, someone is helping someone else. Someone is listening, giving a glass of water, opening their arms, teaching, sitting beside someone in joy and grief and hope and uncertainty. Even if we're doing all of this virtually. We are here for each other. 

What words are helping you over there? I'd love to know. Please leave a comment and share.

I'm over here spending a lot of time with my daughter EJ and the other members of our little family, Jon and our dog Lyle. We're finding our way through a month filled with personal grief after two deaths in our family. And we're playing Bananagrams, watching The Good Place, taking space from each other when we need it, learning a whole lot about decimals, and baking.

I am still getting into my studio and making Soul Mantras, and I'd love to send something you're way. I am happy to create custom items for you right now, so if you don’t see something in the shop that captures the mantra or intention you need (or want to send to someone), just get in touch.

Every order is getting some extra love tucked in through words of encouragement and other little things. If you want to send a gift to someone, I'll include a note from you and add in extra love. I'll also be washing my hands a lot as I package things up. 

All the orders help us stay afloat over here in these uncertain times, and I'm so grateful. 

Side by side,
Liz

*I've kept Water Your Soul registration open for at least another week. The pay what you can option is still available. And this isn't the kind of course where you get behind. You just move through it at your pace, using the ideas, prompts, and stories in the ways that support you.

when you have 15 minutes for self-care

Self-care is a word that gets said a lot these days. I think it encompasses several things, including rest, connection, community, noticing and asking for what you need, doing things you love, taking a break so you can recharge, and making sure your basic needs are being met before you’re able to help others (that whole put on your oxygen mask first idea).

Today, I want to focus on some pretty simple self-care moves that we can do when we have just a bit of time in our day. These are the ones I turn to when I’m running from role to role and start to feel depleted. They often give me a boost of support as they help me push pause on multi-tasking so I can make the choice to be present. They aren’t an answer to everything, but they can help you feel grounded before you move onto the next thing on your list. Pick one thing from this list and try it today. Or let this list be a springboard for your own ideas. 

Take a Breath (and then another and another...)

Pausing to take a few deep breaths is something you can do just about anywhere, and you don't need anything but you. During my yoga teacher training, one of the first breathing practices we learned was Sama Vritti, which is known as Equal Breathing. The effects are a calming of the mind and body. 

To work with Equal Breathing, sit comfortably with your feet on the floor and close your eyes. (You can also sit on the floor cross-legged or lay down, but you don't want to fall asleep. That said, this is actually a great breathing technique to do to help you quiet your mind before going to sleep.) 

As you sit, begin to notice your body and see if there's any place you're holding tension and release it where you can, relaxing your shoulders, your forehead, your belly. Then, begin to notice your breathing. 

After a few breaths, begin to inhale and count to four and then exhale to the count of four. Continue this for several breath cycles, and if you have time, continue for several minutes. You can increase or decrease the length of your breath so that it feels comfortable for your body. Noticing what you need is really important here. 

Write Yourself a Love Letter

Writing letters to myself is a practice I use often. For real. (If you’ve taken one of my ecourses, I’ve probably shared a few ways to do this with you.) Here’s one way: write yourself a love letter.

Fill it with the words you would write to someone else who might need to feel uplifted. You could begin with "Hello dear one" or "Hello beautiful soul" and just write the words you most need to hear. You can then tuck your note into an envelope and put it somewhere to read later. Think about even choosing a date in a few weeks or months and putting a note in your calendar (or setting a reminder on your phone) to remind yourself to open up your letter again and reread it. When you do, it will probably again feel like the words you most need. 

This practice can seem silly when you first start it, but I really recommend it.

Put Down Your Phone

Sometimes when we have a few minutes to ourselves, we quickly fill it with looking at our phones or other devices. And suddenly what was meant to be a break from it all becomes 15-30 minutes of social media, email, and random articles that we don't actually care about. Try taking a true break and put down technology for 15 minutes. Walk away from your computer. Put your phone in a drawer. Consciously create some space away from that online chatter and take a few moments to just notice the world around you.

Call a Friend or Even Send a Text

On the surface this might seem in conflict with my previous suggestion, but please keep reading. Sometimes the best way to fill up the well inside you is to connect with someone else.  When you have just a few minutes, you really can have good connection through a quick phone call or even a text message. 

When I'm having a tough day and need to be reminded that it's all going to be okay, I have a few friends I will reach out to just to say, ‘So I kind of need a hug’ or “I need someone to catch this story today,” and they'll send over support. Even though my schedule might not have room for time with a friend, this simple act of letting someone know I need to connect helps to ground me.

Give Yourself a Massage

Sometimes what we really need is touch, slowing down, and relaxation. You can give this to yourself by gently massaging your hands, even if you're at work.

Start at the base of your hand (palm up) and give yourself the pressure that feels good moving up toward your little finger, applying pressure all the way to the top of your finger. Then back to the base of your hand and move up to your ring finger, and so on with each finger. Then flip your hand over and do the same thing on the other side of your hand. Repeat on each side and then do both hands again.

You can do this with or without massage oil. I love the oils from my friend Bella of Intentions by Bella.

Bring on the Laughter

Laughter actually does help you release tension, which is something I’m reminded of again and again when I turn to a favorite YouTube video or watch a clip from the late night talk shows. It helps me to just laugh. There’s even an article over on the Mayo Clinic’s website that explains why: laughter can "activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response and increases your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling."

Another idea is to keep a funny book nearby that you can open and read for a few minutes (I love Yes, Please by Amy Poehler and A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson). Or phone a friend who always knows how to crack you up. Or even follow a few Instagram accounts that make you laugh.

Eat or Drink Something that Nourishes You

Think about having some go-to foods that really nourish you during the day, and then schedule in your 15-minute break to rejuvenate yourself. You might even want to make a list of nourishing foods, so you can hone in on what makes you feel good.  

My go-to foods that really nourish and nurture me include: fruit and green smoothies, yogurt, a small plate of cheese + almonds + fruit, an apple with peanut butter, and hot tea. Sometimes I also have dark chocolate or a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream. I don't avoid sweets completely; instead, I listen to my body and what it needs. And having a list of things that feel and taste nourishing helps me remember what to buy when I go to the store so I can keep these things on hand.

Just 15 Minutes a Day

Imagine giving yourself the gift of 15 minutes of self-care a day, maybe even every day for the next five days. Time for you where you can breathe, take care of yourself, reconnect with yourself or someone else, and feel grounded in the midst of whatever life is handing you. If you try any of these ideas or have a few more to add, please feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Photo credits: photo of Liz meditating by Lauren Oliver Photography, third and fourth photos by Vanessa Simpson of Focus In Photography.

6 ways making lists can be an act of creative and mindful self-care

I love a good list. From lists of favorite things to lists of 10 places you should visit in Paris to gratitude lists to your favorite songs in high school, I love them all.  

List-making can actually be an awesome self-care practice. The act of slowing down and focusing on writing a list pushes you out of the swirling thoughts in your mind to bring your attention to just one thing: writing the list. A list can connect you to the present moment and the beauty and gratitude waiting to be found in your daily life.

It can also be a great writing practice and warm up before you dive into a writing project or it can even be the bones of an essay, a blog post, or a poem. I often encourage women who have the "I want to be writer" dream deep inside them to begin with lists. Get some words on a page because writers have to write and push through just dreaming about writing.

Here are a few list-writing prompts to get you started with your own list-making practice. You can find more in my ecourses including Here: Five Things, a creative, mindful listing course I teach a few times a year.

The "Want To Do" List

When the "to-do" list starts to feel heavy and even overwhelming, it can be helpful to create a "Want To Do" List.  

You can make it really doable and include items like: take-out for dinner, stopping by the park on the way home from school pick-up, taking a 10-minute nap, and reading before bed.  

Or you can fill it with the dreams and desires you have right now and add things like: a weekend getaway, less time on devices each weekend, more whole foods in your diet, or more time with everyone together in the evenings.  

Having a "want to do" list pushes you to notice what you need and separate it out from what must get done each day. You could make this list every day in a simple small notebook (I love Field Notes and pocket Cahier Moleskines) and begin to notice patterns as you listen to what you need.

The What I Did List

When I get to the end of the day and have that "I really wish I'd gotten more done today" feeling, I sometimes make a list of the things I really did today. When I start listing things, I begin to realize that I accomplished so much more than I thought I did. This is a simple one but can make a profound impact on your internal self-talk. Try it and see what you find.

I Want to Remember List

Pausing to pay attention to what you want to remember can be a beautiful daily practice. It invites you to really notice the moments of joy and growth and realness that make your life what it is.

This practice is a great one to pair with scrapbooking or a simple album of photos and words. And it is one that you can do with your family. I love asking my daughter a version of this question that is age appropriate for her, like, "What did you love most about today?" Making lists like these can help you to see the positive moments in your life, which is especially helpful when you're going through a tough time.

Gratitude Lists

Here's the thing: writing a gratitude list every day will change your life. For real. So even though this one has been around for a long time (Remember learning about this on Oprah in the 90s?), it can be a lovely and supportive practice. 

Psychology professor Robert Emmons explored the idea of keeping a gratitude list in one of his studies. He found, “subjects who wrote down one thing that they were grateful for every day reported being 25 percent happier for a full six months after following this practice for just three weeks” (from “6 Surprising Reasons Why Gratitude is Great for Your Health,”). If this isn't a reason to try this one, what will be?

To begin this practice, simply answer the question, "What am I grateful for today?" and make a short list. Try to write down at least five things you're grateful for each day, and notice how this practice makes you feel. You might even want to journal about that very idea once a week to see how this practice affects you. My daughter and I have been making these lists together for a few weeks now (about 2-3 times a week after dinner), and I'm already noticing the ways that throughout our days, we each bring up things we want to add to our lists.

List Journals

My daughter and I also love these "My Listography" journals that are full of fun list prompts that invite you to think about so many things. There are versions for parenthood and lists about the future and books and movies. They are an accessible way to give yourself a few moments of slowing down and thinking about yourself in the middle of your day. And they are simply fun!

A List of Here

Another list I make sometimes is actually one of my favorite poetry prompts. I call it "a list of here," and I literally just make a list of what I'm noticing in this moment. I like to list somewhere between 5-15 observations. This is a really beautiful mindfulness practice as it centers you in the middle of your day and brings you back into your body and heart as you take time to simply observe your surroundings along with your inner self-talk. Over the past year, I've started sharing them on Instagram with the hashtag #alistofhere - feel free to join in!

I hope you'll try list making as a self-care tool in your corner of the world. I really believe that it can help you slow down and notice your life in a new way. And it can help you get to know yourself better, which is a pretty awesome thing, don't you think?

52 Lists Project

One of my favorite self-care moves is to make lists. It gives your mind a place to rest and can even become a mindfulness practice when you slow down and create intention around it.

Earlier this week, I came across my copy of Moorea Seal's The 52 Lists Project and decided I wanted to dive back in this year. Last year,  I made it through four weeks of lists, but then dropped off, and I want to start back up again. In her book, there's a different list prompt for every week of the year and some suggested actionable steps to take inspired by your list as well. The book is beautiful and throughtful (just like everything Moorea puts into the world).

I shared my intention of diving back into it on Instagram and Facebook and several people shared that they would love to join in writing a list in this book each week. So we're going to do a "list-along."

I really love this idea of all working through the book together this year. And I love the idea of keeping it really simple. 

Here's how it will work:

We will gather on Instagram and share our lists (or something about the book and our experience with it) on Sundays using the hashtag #52listsSundays so we can find one another.

To share your post in the feed of others sharing about the book (who aren't connected with our list-along), you can use #52ListsProject. You can see lots of ideas and goodness in that feed from people who have been using the book over the last couple of years. 

Some information to answer any questions you might have:

This is a "choose your own adventure" kind of experience with a side of support and connection. Anyone reading this can join in at any time. There are no real rules except that we're using The 52 Lists Project. My hope is that we just have some fun practicing self-care and connecting about it each week on Instagram this year. And if you have the companion 52 Lists of Happiness book and want to use it instead, go for it!

It is easiest to connect on Instagram using hashtags. You can use them on Facebook, but your post has to be set to public for us to find one another. I will be focusing on connecting on Instagram and will also post my photo on Facebook for connection there. I won't be searching Facebook for hashtags though.

You can join in whenever you want to! If you're reading this in March, you can still join in. If you've done a few weeks and want to join in, you can. Like I shared, I have already done a bit of work in the book. I'll be adding to my lists or posting reflections on how they might have changed in a year for the first couple of weeks and then diving into new lists. 

You don't have to share your actual list. Some topics might feel too private. That is totally okay. Take a photo of the page before you write on it. Take a photo of the book closed. Take a photo of something that represents the list to you and share about it. Use the "blur" tool to hide parts of your list like I did above. You can make this as personal as you want it to be.

If you don't have the book and want to come along, just order one when you can and jump in if you'd like. 

If you're feeling overwhelmed about writing in a beautiful book, maybe use a pencil so you can erase! I know this is actually a huge piece that stops many people from using these awesome self-care books that people spend some much time creating and making in the hopes you will get messy and write and create in them. Try to let the beauty of you taking time for you in this simple act of self-care be bigger than the fear of messing up your book. I'm cheering you on over here!

If you can't post on Sundays or forget etc, just post on another day! We'll just always use the #52listsSundays hashtag to keep it simple. 

Again, all you need to participate is a copy of The 52 Lists Project by Moorea Seal (or her 52 Lists of Happiness book if you already have that one and want to come along).

And if you have questions, just let me know. I will answer them in the comments.

Looking forward to listing with you each week!

Big love,
Liz

PS This post and read-along/list-along is not sponsored by Moorea Seal or the publisher of her books. This list-along came up very organically and informally. My biggest hope is that by joining in together, we can keep each other accountable to actually take this time to practice self-care each week. The links above are affiliate links though, which means when you purchase something through them, I will receive a small commission. You can also purchase copies of these books on Moorea's site.

it is time.

Maybe you're in a space where the longing feels thick. Where the stuff that makes up each day is piling. Where the roles you're playing are pulling you in several directions and you secretly wish you could just step away for awhile.

Or maybe you're in a season where others need you. A lot. And you know you need to create space for you and you simply don't know where to begin.

Or perhaps you've lost the connection with the creative soul inside you - the soul who wanted to write more, take more photos, play with paint and color, or even just cook like she used to. 

If pieces of these stories sound familiar, I invite you to come along to Water Your Mama Soul.

The practices you'll explore and conversations we'll have during this 10-day class will begin to create the foundation you need to tell your story - to live your way into the longings while seeing and feeling the beauty of your everyday life.

Because we can hold two things at once: The longings in one hand and the beauty of our everyday life in the other. The joy of living this crazy, awesome life in one hand and the grief that life hands you in the other.

We can hold all the things.

And we can find our way to feeling grounded and like our true selves in the midst of all these feelings and experiences.

I really believe that.

There's this bridge I keep talking about - this bridge that takes us from our daily to our longings. And no matter the longings, this bridge is really between daily life and more "really good days."

Think about that for a moment. Each day, you're building a bridge to more really good days.

That kind of sounds delicious and not impossible.

But honey, before you build that bridge between today and your longings, you've got to have a foundation to hold it up.

The practices in Water Your Mama Soul will be your foundation. They will help you begin to tell your story so you can name those longings and decide which ones you want to claim as your path.

Come along. This powerful online class is just $25. We begin as a group September 14.

Register right here.

a morning ritual (how to smudge)

They walk out the door in a rush, in a flurry of "Please hurry and brush your teeth. You're going to be late. Daddy is waiting."

Some mornings I head to the kitchen window and watch them walk down the twisty steps, him carrying all the things, her chatting and chatting as she gets distracted by the colors of the sky or a tiny insect or the lines the fog makes against the trees.

Other mornings I sink to my knees in the living room and put my hands on the floor, stretching my back into chakravakasana. Breathing. Being. Coming home to me.

And then there are the mornings I plant myself on the red couch and dive right into emails and analytics and holding my heart out in my hand in a virtual invitation.

Lately, I've been adding in a simple clearing ritual to bring me back to center. Some days it's my practice. Other days it closes my longer practice. Always it feels like a prayer.

I stand at our often dusty sprawling family altar and begin to chat to Ganesh. As the words swirl in our little house, as Millie snores in her spot on the rug behind me, I light the sage. Watching the smoke begin to swirl, my voice gets louder. I gently move my hand, enveloping the smoke, and let it encircle me.

And then I begin to walk. Chanting. Clearing the space with my voice, with the sage. 

It's a whisper. It's a roar. It's one woman in her little home asking all that is greater than her to support her in this day, to clear space for all that is to come, to clasp us gently in its grasp.

Yes. 

*****

How to Smudge

If you're new to working with sage or smudging, here are some simply steps to follow. I've included some links to supplies as well:

1. Light your bundle or smudge stick until it flames. It will usually burn out and begin to smoke. If needed, you can blow out the flame, but it should still be smoking. This smoke is what you'll use to smudge.

2. Smudge yourself by wafting the smoke toward you, getting your whole body and then step through the smoke. You can use your hand or a feather or feather wand. If you're smudging another person, make sure they turn around so you smudge both their front and back.

3. If you're smudging a space or your home, begin to walk around slowly, wafting the smoke into the space, being sure to direct it in all four directions in each room. Some traditions say you should walk around your space or home in a clockwise manner. As you're walking, be sure to also carry a small bowl or an abalone shell to catch any ashes. (Lately, I've been using my favorite heart bowls.)

4. As you're walking, think positive thoughts, even say a prayer, or sing or chant. The intention is to invite in what you most want to come into this space. You might even want to write a blessing that you say in each room (or to each person if you're smudging yourself and others).

5. When you're done, remember to gently put out the smoking smudge stick/wand. Do this by pressing it into your abalone shell or a fire-proof ceramic bowl. You'll want to make sure that it is no longer smoking and then leave it in the shell or bowl for a while.

Resources:

There are so many great sources for sage and other smudge sticks on Etsy. You can often find it at Whole Foods and other natural food shops too. Moorea Seal (one of my favorite Seattle shops/sites) also carries some sage and other good things. The sage wand in the photo is from the wondrous Jennette Nielsen.

Using sage is something I first learned about from my teacher Laura Yon. She also taught me the Ganesha chant I sing daily (if you'd like to listen to it and learn it, here's a short audio of me chanting). Additionally, Pixie Lighthorse's teachings have invited me to deepen my experience with the smudging practice.

As always, if you have questions, share them in the comments.

With love and light,
Liz 

All photos by Lauren Oliver Photography

get outside

It's that time of year where we begin to hover between winter and spring over here in my corner. Some days the rain just falls and falls and the grey can really start to get to you. 

But then the sun will appear. 

But then you'll notice the crocuses about ready to bloom.

But then you'll notice the tulips are starting to push upward.

And suddenly that fierce belief that spring will return appears again.

I've learned though that the only way I can stay connected to that belief is by getting outside.

You have to do the practice.

You can't just talk about how you're getting back to your practice if you dive right into email first thing in the morning and don't stop multi-tasking until you fall asleep just after checking email one more time.

You have to do the practice.

You can't just write articles about why people should start practicing self-care and mindfulness.

You have to do the practice.

You can't wonder why you feel so full of all the stuff that swirls around you when you know the very remedy that would help you feel connected to all that you believe in.

You have to do the practice.

So I stood outside breathing in my own backyard as someone used a jackhammer down the street (yes, a jackhammer on a Monday) and the cars whizzed by on the highway in the distance and the hummingbird chirped down at me from the plum tree and Millie the wonder dog sniffed in circles and the cherry trees preened under the sun's warmth and I realized I hadn't yet brushed my teeth and I started counting all the shades of blue in the sky and then I started counting my own heartbeats...

and I pushed aside the lists and the changes to come and the dream that won't stop tapping me on the forehead and the emails I need to answer and the realization that if I don't get in the shower soon I'm going to be that mom at the Valentine's Craft Fair who works from home and sometimes doesn't remember to shower...

and I stood outside and took five deep breaths and then five more. Just being right here. Noticing. Creating space within. Letting it all just be for a few minutes. Uncovering that connection to all that is greater than me for just seconds at a time.

You have to do the practice.

Yes, honey, I'm talking to you.

10 ways to practice self-care at the holidays

Dear beautiful soul,

We're in it aren't we? This beautiful, hard, spirit-full time of year. The Holidays.

Today, I want to reach out and invite you to think about shifting your self-care a bit to support you right now. It still needs to be on your list - your "this is non-negotiable" list - even as you wrap presents and bake cookies and run to the store yet again and how the list goes on and on.

Here are a few ideas to help you think about ways to practice self-care right now. Choose just one from this list to try. Or let these ideas be a springboard for your own.

The important thing: Take time to slow down and notice. Let yourself just breathe within the present moment instead of rushing toward expectations and stuff or whatever else your schedule holds. 

Create space to enjoy the simple things you love about the holidays

Make a quick list of things you love this time of year. Pretend that there isn't a to-do list connected to this and let go of thinking about what your family members love. What do you love? Look over your list and choose one or two and create space to make them happen.

Here's an example: There’s something about the lights of our Christmas tree at night that invite in a sense of stillness for me. I love to simply sit in our family room with just the lights of the tree on while I drink a cup of tea. I just breathe and try to let my thoughts rest as much as I can. When my thoughts are really restless, I’ll stand at the tree and look at the ornaments that represent the childhoods of my husband, myself, and now our daughter. My favorite is the popsicle stick sled from my first grade teacher that I’m holding together with tape after all these years.

Light candles

I've been mentioning this one often lately, and that's because it is such an important practice to me and my family. When it starts to get dark so early in December, I begin to light candles at dusk. Lately, I've been going back to this practice: When I light them, I often whisper a little blessing of gratitude for something that happened during my day. This pushes me to really notice the positives from the day. Then when I blow the candles out before heading to bed, I say blessings of protection and love for my loved ones. 

My current favorites candles are these from Moorea Seal and these amber candles.

Music

I’m one of those people who loves most holiday music, but even if you aren’t a huge fan, there is probably at least one album out there that makes you smile. Maybe it’s Bing singing "White Christmas" or Elvis or Johnny Mathis or Kenny & Dolly. I love just about any version of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," but the one sung by John Denver and Rolfe from The Muppets always brings a wave of nostalgia that feels like home to me. Create a holiday playlist for yourself. 

Creating an altar with photos

Getting out a few photos of the people I miss this time of year helps me to keep them in my mind and heart. It feels good to have them around me instead of letting missing or distant memories get me down. I like to gather a candle and a few small things that remind me of that person, like the shells shown in the example of me walking with my grandpa on the beach, and create a little remembrance altar.

Find stillness

As your mind swirls with all that must get done, you've got to slow down and get recentered honey. Even just taking those five deep breaths several times a day can be supportive first-aid self-care this time of year. Create some reminders for yourself to pause and breathe. This might mean setting a reminder on your phone every few hours. Find a way to just get still. And if you need ideas, check out this post.

Connecting

There are so many parties and gatherings that we can feel we "must" attend, and then in contrast, so many of us can feel lonely at the holidays (whether we have these gatherings or not). As you figure out your schedule over the next few weeks, make the choice to connect with the friends and family who most support you too. This might mean a coffee date, a phone call or getting on Skype, or even texting with a loved one. Make time for those deeper connections. And remember, you don't have to say yes to everything. You really don't dear one.

A cup of tea

I bring up drinking tea often in my self-care suggestions because I really believe that making and then drinking tea (or coffee or hot cocoa) engages all of our senses. This act of slowing down and noticing the smells and taste and even the feel of the warm mug in our hands helps create space for quietness and calm. You can even turn making and drinking a cup of tea into a ritual that grounds you daily and gives you some time just for you.

And this is the part where I say: You can even make your stop at Starbucks this ritual. Skip the drive through. Go inside and order. Then sit and just breathe and take five minutes for you while you drink your latte. Try not to look at your phone for those five minutes.

Get outside

I know it might be really cold where you live, but get outside anyway. If you don't, you're going to go stir crazy. You need the fresh air. You need the sun. You need to remember that there is a big world out there. You need to remember that the birds will keep singing and the trees will keep reaching up toward the sun no matter what this time of year brings you. Go for a walk even if it's just for a block or down your driveway and back.

Let yourself feel all the feelings

This time of year can bring up so much. From expectations to past hurts to hopes that this year your family won't talk about {fill in your own family's story here} to wishing your kids would all smile for the photo to missing loved ones...there's a lot of feelings swirling. Try not to judge the feelings that are coming up for you. Let yourself feel them. Yes, you are allowed to feel sad. And yes, honey, you are allowed to feel happy! And all the other things in between. In fact, you can even feel conflicting things at the same time. You get to choose. (You also get to choose what you do with these feelings. You can dwell. Or you can create your own experience this year. It might be hard to see that, but the choice is there for all of us.)

And remember that those around you have swirling feelings too (even those who might be hurting yours). Tread gently.

Think about how your self-care might have to change this time of year

Maybe you're visiting family or a whole crew is headed your way. Maybe you have to work on Christmas Day. Maybe you're alone for the first time. As you look at what's ahead, think about how your self-care might have to shift. Do you need to get up a little bit earlier because the kids are on break? Do you need to ask your spouse for different kind of support? Do you need to set a boundary around how much you're cooking? Do you need to let go of some pieces of your daily self-care practice due to time and travel?

Think about what pieces of self-care are non-negotiable for you and brainstorm some ways that you can still make them happen.

Then ask yourself this question: What could shift so there could be more ease, more space to really enjoy my loved ones and what I love about this time of year?

I'm cheering you on over here. We really can hold the beauty of the holidays in one hand and the truth that sometimes they are hard in the other.

Give yourself the gift of coming back to center several times a day over these next few weeks.

You deserve to feel the love, and those you love do too.

Blessings,

Liz

PS Feel free to share your own self-care ideas and tips in the comments. I love when we can learn from one another.

photo credits: top photo Lauren Oliver Photography, third photo Vanessa Simpson of Focus in Photography