In this little film, I have gathered pieces of 2009 and strung them together, adding words, music to find my way toward remembering, toward knowing where my journey has taken me this year...
(The idea to create this video, this reminder and write this poem came to me after I watched Shona's video a few weeks ago. If you don't know Shona's blog, you should.)
When Jon and I visited Manzanita this spring, I spent some time on the beach by myself and decided to simply film myself walking on the sand toward the ocean (inspired by Jen Gray's walking videos). While I was walking, Jon was taking photos from the deck of the house we were visiting, unbeknownst to me. I didn't know if I would use this footage, but as I was slowly walking toward the waves, I began to think about how coming to the water and breathing in the air invites me to feel grounded. And, it also invites me to feel a closeness with my grandmother. My family and I have spent a lot of time at the ocean, and I feel them surround me, the best of our times together fill me up, when I hear the waves crashing and feel sand underneath my feet.
As I stood staring at the sparkle atop the water, I thought about how even in the shadows of grief, of deeply missing my grandmother, there is light. I feel that light within, and when at the water, I am reminded of this truth. Then I remembered a poem I had written about why I come to the water, and the idea for this video was born.