a chocolate chip cookie and project life

January 6: You have discovered the joy of eating chocolate chip cookies. Today, you wanted one as a snack and sat like a big girl at the table and ate all of it, small bite by small bite. You offered to share with me, but as I started to take a bite, you pulled the cookie back and broke off one tiny crumb for me and smiled so big. It was pretty funny. Then you gave me the very last bite as you climbed out of the chair and ran off to play. Later, you decided you wanted another cookie and were not content with the half I offered you and insisted on sitting in this chair again to eat another whole cookie all by yourself. While you eat, you often say, “mmmm” just after you take a bite. You bring such joy to the simple moments of living.

*****

I have decided to attempt Project Life this year (for real this time). I actually ordered the Amber kit about a year ago...but it sat in the box on the floor of our family room. Now it sits out by the kitchen table next to the Canon Selphy printer I am using for some of the photos. (Love that this year you can now just get the core kit and choose your album based on your style etc. So many cool products out for Project Life. I think I am going to get a few other types of page protectors to add to what came in last year's kit.)

After talking with Ali about her experience with Project Life and being so inspired by her weekly posts in 2011 (and then looking at how other members of Becky Higgins' creative team approach it), I decided to jump in this year.

And, I am so happy to report that the first week is almost done! As I was working on choosing the photos, I knew that I would want to add the above "chocolate chip cookie" photos + words to this week's story. I love how you can just add additional page protectors into the album and how there really aren't any rules, so I am working on learning a bit more about digital scrapbooking so I can add a few more stories here and there. And then I really want to use what I learn to create other books of other stories I want to tell with words + photos. A big thank you to Ali and Danielle for holding my hand through this learning curve.

So the pieces above are what I will be putting into this first layout. Stay tuned...I think I am going to have a little too much fun with this.

(edited to add) In the spirit of yesterday's post and your kind support (thank you), I want to share this other layer to the story: Seeing her devour this cookie and show such a big appetite made me so so happy. She is a wee one because of her heart issues and doesn't have much of an appetite because of the medication she is on. We have been in a "holding pattern" with her weight recently as she uses up all the calories she takes in as she runs and dances and explores, and we are hoping she will gain more this month. Although she will never have those baby fat rolls that so many people talk about, that I dreamed about when I was pregnant, I am just so happy she is here eating chocolate chip cookies and french fries and ravioli and blueberries and peas and brocolli. I am just so happy when I hear her say, "mmmm" after each bite. 

(This is also my January "Joy Seeker" story. This series is one way I am documenting the "joy" superhero power that Ellie Jane has. My plan is to gather these glimpses here on the blog from her first to second birthday, and then, I will put them all together and have them printed in a small book. Posting the October, November, and December Joy Seeker entries here didn't happen, but I am still gathering them for the book.)

december 15

today was:

up early anticipating the arrival of grandpa and grandma

a little girl full of joy and happy and just one or two overtired meltdowns

christmas shopping and sushi and the gift of a new "go to" date night outfit 

today was:

listening to them read

a heart remembering so much

johnny mathis in the air

today was:

tulips in december just because

trying all the cheeses at metropolitan market and deciding the rosemary asiago is still beyond the best

a little girl who insists on drinking from a glass 

today was:

conversation and laughter

dinner with everyone at the table

an "oh my goodness you all have to try this" cupcake that tastes just like my sugar cookies

today was:

a deep tired from staying up so late cleaning (and the knowledge that you can't really even tell)

a titch of missing even though they are here for two more days

a heart healing with each breath

december 12

Inspired by Ali's December Daily and my past participation in Darlene's December Views, I have been attempting to take photos each day this month and then write a few words to capture just one story of the day. I am housing them in a set over on Flickr and adding to it as often as I can.

I am gently but firmly pushing myself to let go of capturing the perfect photos. So if I don't take any that I want to share or use on a given day or if I forget, I am not worrying about it. Because really, the guilt thing is not going to make this project fun.

I do love though that the thought to take photos is flitting around in my mind more often than usual, especially this time of year when we are so immersed in the darkness of the days and colder weather. This is pushing me to try to capture the real day to day living moments instead of just outside adventures that summer easily brings.

This is to explain how I found myself with my camera this evening as a little girl went from daddy to mama and back again. She seems to be a wee bit under the weather, which meant she was really quite cuddly tonight as she wanted to be held or at least attached to one of us in some way. (Usually she is on the move running from room to room.)

I had the camera literally sitting on my lap as I snapped this series of photos. Because I wasn't behind it, she seemed less distracted because my face wasn't hidden so she just leaned against me as I snapped. 

I love that this gives the first four photos a self-portrait feel because she isn't looking at someone "through" the camera but is instead looking at the camera and any reflections she can see, probably of the lights in the room. (And if you are connected with me on instagram, you know that she is already taking self-portraits. Yep.) And then in that last photo, she is looking up at me right before insisting it is time to come up onto my lap.

As I sit here tonight, I keep thinking this phrase on repeat: The little moments seem to hold the most living.

current favorite playlist

practicing self-care by taking a moment just for me while she naps

As the to-do list grows over here, I have been observing the ways that I do and do not take care of myself. My observations always tell me that I have to slow down and bring awareness to my day or I will lose my way. While Ellie naps or when her babysitter comes so I can get work done, I try to remember to also notice how I am feeling and what I need. Warm baked goods right from the oven are making that list. As is rest in the form of laying down for a few minutes and reading or closing my eyes. And then there is the music. In my world over here, there must always be music, and I especially like it when I can sing along and dance dance dance. 

Here is playlist that is currently on repeat this weekend:

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) :: The Proclaimers

Get Out The Map :: Indigo Girls

Son Of A Son Of A Sailor :: Jimmy Buffett

Get Back :: The Beatles

Kiss On My List :: The Bird and the Bee

Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man :: Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn

Bus Stop :: The Hollies

Midnight Train to Georgia :: Gladys Knight & The Pips

Stop Draggin' Around :: Lenny Kravitz

If I Had a Boat :: Lyle Lovett

Via con me :: Paolo Conte

The World's On Fire :: The Housemartins

Let It Be :: The Beatles

Born Feeling :: Sara Tavares

Better Life :: Keith Urban

I Want to Break Free :: Queen

Rock With You :: Michael Jackson

You Got to Me :: Neil Diamond

Loves Me Like a Rock :: Paul Simon

What Next? :: hello mtn

Antarctica :: The Weepies

Little Bird :: Jonatha Brooke

Fast Car :: Tracy Chapman

Brian Wilson :: Barenaked Ladies

The Gambler :: Kenny Rogers

I Hope :: Dixie Chicks

C'est Si Bon :: Eartha Kitt

The next few days are sure to include some Christmas music, but it was nice to sing along with these songs as I hammered and wire-wrapped and wrapped packages and took time to twirl with the beana.

And you? What are you listening to these days?

december 1

while she napped, i put up the little christmas tree that had been waiting in the garage since jon put it in there sometime in late january. it was waiting wrapped in a plastic bag with lights and ornaments still on. and i stared at that little tree that we put up last year around december 20 when i was deep in survival mode and unable to really find any holiday spirit. it is a great little tree. jon has had it for years.

but i stood there and said aloud, "i deserve more christmas than this."

and that is how we found ourselves walking through the trees as the sun began to dip low. ellie giggling as she touched each type of tree and then splashing in puddles as she wandered.

i always think i will be quick to choose one, but it always takes me so much longer.

i love all of them. they smell so good. and they are just waiting for someone to take them home.

with the chill in the air and the christmas music playing ("zat you santa clause?"), i felt so at ease and like me. just like i felt the night before thanksgiving while i was cooking (like from scratch cooking) for the first time in months while ellie and jon read and music played. feeling like i have maybe been waiting my whole life for this.

and i think perhaps the only way to stay close to that feeling of ease (of love) is to take care of myself in the midst of it all. like deciding to get a little tree and buying some lights instead of spending six hours in the garage trying to find the lights we used four years ago.

and deciding to get in the picture by just propping the camera right on the hood of the car and using the timer.

self-care gently pushes me to stay more open to love and light.  

*****

thank you for the orders during yesterday's shop sale. my heart is gently holding so many beautiful stories shared as customers placed orders and let me know why their chosen soul mantra was important to them or who they were giving the necklaces to as gifts. so many beautiful stories.

the truth is that life is so hard and so so beautiful. this fall has held some unexpected challenges over here. there has been beauty and there has been stress. this is living. and sometimes it feels like its harder than it should be. but we find our way all the same. and each day i have a choice. so i choose beauty and love and joy whenever i can.

put the camera right on the ground (and discover joy)

37 seconds of joy

noticing: wonder

point defiance pause . october 22, 2011

Yesterday, Ellie Jane fell asleep in the car when we were on our way home after picking up a few things at the store. She had been so fussy, but suddenly, while I was singing to her, I noticed that she had settled and her eyes were closing.

I was so happy to simply have a few moments of quiet to breathe and not feel like I was maxed out on multitasking.

As we got closer to home, I decided to just keep driving and headed toward Point Defiance Park. As John Denver sang about one man finding himself in his twenty-seventh year and a mist of rain fell, I began to notice that autumn really has arrived and the leaves are shedding their green. The pine trees are shedding as well, and the green moss seems to be moving out of the shadows and onto center stage.

The park was beautiful. I lowered the windows a bit to invite in the sound of the rain and slowed down to take a few photos with my iphone. Ellie continued sleeping, John Denver kept me company, and I could feel my body begin to relax. My mind was able to slow down enough to just notice one or two thoughts in my usually swirling brain.

In the middle of the drive, as I came around a curve in the road, I saw one yellow maple leaf twirl toward the ground.

When I say twirl, I mean literally it swirled in a tilt-a-whirl inspired dance right toward the earth. The wonder that came up in me in that moment honestly took my breath away. As a child, maple seeds were often a source of delight as I would pick them up and then watch them helicopter in the air, but I had never seen a maple leaf do this same dance.

I was struck by this idea of the connection between the seed, the beginnings of this tree, twirling toward the ground long ago and how the leaf remembered and followed its ancestor. In this moment, I think about Paul Simon's words in the song "Under African Skies:

This is the story of how we begin to remember
This is the powerful pulsing of love in the vein
After the dream of falling and calling your name out
These are the roots of rhythm
And the roots of rhythm remain

So it is for the maple tree. So it is for us.

And so this is my practice: Creating space in my life to notice the world around and within me. Even in the midst of the multitasking and all that must get done. Even in the midst of the roles I play and the realization that letting go of some need for balance is necessary.

My practice: Slowing down, noticing, opening my heart to what I find...to life. And I am reminded over and over again that the first step is to show up as me. And then take a breath. And then another. And trust.

If you are seeking ways to be more present to your life...if you are seeking ways to simply begin to recognize that this space for noticing your world and what you need exists in your life...come along with a few other kindred spirits and experience Create Space. We are gathering this weekend and will begin on Monday. Find out more here and please email me with any questions.

May your day be full of beauty, wonder, and moments to take it all in,

Liz